jesus christ, you are almost seventeen and your dad forbids you from having a girlfriend? what a complete weirdo...

anyway, it seems like maybe you spend too much time around your parents or at your parents house... when i was sixteen and seventeen, my parents had no idea who any of my boyfriends were (thank god}, they didnt know most of the people in my social circle, they didnt have the slightest clue where i was or what i was doing most of the time, and when they asked where i was going and who i was going with (which they often did}, or called me to see where i was (which they often did}, i would lie. obviously. isnt that what all teenagers do? if you have to make up an elaborate lie, then make up an elaborate lie. it isnt that hard. and you definitely shouldnt feel guilty about doing it in light of the fact that your parents are obviously douche-bags.

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

- Philip Larkin.

In any case, the relationship detailed in the OP did seem as if it had been derailed quite quickly by occasional streaks of lust, and it may well be worth considering why that is. I mean, yeah, that is something of a staple of teenage relationships, but so is not lasting too long, and as such it may well be worth figuring out for yourselves why exactly you are in the relationship with each other, the basic nature of the attraction in other words; why it is that you're in a relationship with her rather than others, what allows this relationship to grant a certain kind of satisfaction that others cannot, if it does. I mean, I don't know, it just seems that when you've both been willing to turn to others multiple times due to sexual attraction, there could be greater clarity about what exactly it is that you can only gain from each other, so to speak. Otherwise, you could well continue to have problems keeping things up or trusting one another when in physical isolation; when, that is, the physical aspect of the relationship is absent. You know,

From the heat that melts together oft a rarer essence slips,
And our hearts may still be parted in the meeting of the lips.

What a darkness would I gaze on when the day had passed the west,
If my eyes were dazed and blinded by the whiteness of a breast?
Never through the diamond darkness could I hope to see afar
Where beyond the pearly rampart burned the purer evening star.

(A.E.)

That said, though, the behaviour of your parents does seem to be a bit bizarre, although perhaps in the most recent case, what with the offer to smoke weed together, it isn't necessarily that surprising that parents would wish to cut you off. Before that, though, it doesn't seem to make much sense. Nonetheless, the thing that authority-figures tend to like least is having their authority brought into question rather than respected, which you seemingly have done (not that there's anything really blameworthy about that), and it's going to be pretty hard to overcome that or persuade them to do other than they are, especially given that there are two sets of parents involved, who are friends and hence can find self-confirmation within their little parental community. At the same time, though, it's probably worth keeping in mind that this forcible separation could well be made into a strength, in that it gives you both something common to react against, a sort of common struggle or conspiracy, which could just as well bunch you together as push you apart.At the least, it could give your current communication a sense of purpose as a means of subverting the restriction, as well as giving your potential unity a sort of 'forbidden fruit' aura which could well make it seem more pleasant when it arrives, creating a fairly productive sense of expectation. This is, of course, quite apart from it opening up several avenues of amusing jokes involving a certain Shakespeare play which could allow you to look cultured.

In any case, though, while it could be productive to occasionally try and subvert the order of separation, insofar as it could bring you closer in more ways than one, you should probably not be too desperate to do so, or do things with too much risk of backfiring. As it is, it doesn't seem like this should be too harsh a blow, given that you can still communicate, and that it shouldn't last for too much time, ultimately. It could even be useful to see if you can keep things going despite the lack of physical contact. That's not to say that you should simply reconcile yourself with the order to remain separate, indeed that kind of reconciliation is generally an unhealthy attitude to take in life, (it's one thing not to do anything too foolish, but nonetheless you don't want to end up falling into Sidney's trap and ending up lamenting:

oh, punished eyes,
That I had been more foolish--or more wise!)

but nonetheless it does seem that in this case you can only get around the letter of the law to a highly limited degree, and if you can't defy the law in its letter will have to do so in its spirit. That is to say, to not allow it to separate you, knowing that it can't and won't last forever. There's still plenty of things which you can do when these lines are all drawn.

Nonetheless, it's worth remembering that there are other things in life (I won't say 'there are other fish in the sea,' because it's offensive and disgusting and implies a perspective which is entirely repugnant), and that love is ultimately a completely unimportant part of life. The only important thing in life is, after all, the Revolution. As Marx once said:

Karl Marx to his wife in 1856 wrote: [What makes me a complete human being is not] Feuerbach's idea of man, or the metabolism of Moleschott, or the proletariat, but love. [...] You will smile, dear heart, and ask how I come by such rhetoric all of a sudden. If I could press your sweet white heart against mine I would be silent [...] But since I cannot kiss with my lips I must kiss with my tongue, with words. I could even compose verses and imitate Ovid's books of lamentation, libri tristium. He was only exiled from the Emperor Augustus - but I am exiled from you, and that is something Ovid would not understand.

Um, sorry, that wasn't the right quote. Um. But anyway, yes, love and that kind of thing isn't that important. As Karl Marx taught us:

Karl Marx to his wife in 1856 wrote: I see you bodily before me, I take you in my arms, I kiss you from head to foot, and I fall on my knees before you, groaning, 'Madame, I love you.' And I do love you, more than the Moor of Venice ever loved [...] Who among my many detractors and serpent-tongued enemies has ever reproached me with being called on to play the part of first lover in a second-rate theatre? And yet it is true. If the rascals had any wit, they would have painted on one side 'the conditions of production and commerce,' and on the other side me, lying at your feet. 'Look to this picture and to that!' - that's what they should have written underneath. But they are stupid rascals, and they will remain stupid in seculum seculorum.

So, yes. Well. Anyway, don't get too stressed out by the current situation, and remember that things will probably work out for the best, and, even if they don't, they still can't do you too much harm.

In the blindfold hours

In the blindfold hours,
in the memory wars,
don't fool yourself it never happened,
that you never loved her.
Don't degrade yourself with empty hopes like these.

Go to the window. Listen to the trees.
It is the only air we live in.
There is nothing to be frightened of.

- Hugo Williams.

But fuck it, this is RedMarx, this thread needs more abstract theorizin':

MY Love is of a birth as rare
As 'tis, for object, strange and high ;
It was begotten by Despair,
Upon Impossibility.

Magnanimous Despair alone
Could show me so divine a thing,
Where feeble hope could ne'er have flown,
But vainly flapped its tinsel wing.

And yet I quickly might arrive
Where my extended soul is fixed ;
But Fate does iron wedges drive,
And always crowds itself betwixt.

For Fate with jealous eye does see
Two perfect loves, nor lets them close ;
Their union would her ruin be,
And her tyrannic power depose.

And therefore her decrees of steel
Us as the distant poles have placed,
(Though Love's whole world on us doth wheel),
Not by themselves to be embraced,

Unless the giddy heaven fall,
And earth some new convulsion tear.
And, us to join, the world should all
Be cramp'd into a planisphere.

As lines, so loves oblique, may well
Themselves in every angle greet :
But ours, so truly parallel,
Though infinite, can never meet.

Therefore the love which us doth bind,
But Fate so enviously debars,
Is the conjunction of the mind,
And opposition of the stars.

(Marvell.)

It's not Dimmu Bordiga, but it'll do.

Zero's parents always believed he was out smoking weed with his friends but to their utter dismay he was completing his third book of poetry in a nearby library

Искра wrote: Point? Parents are sometimes crazy, sometimes overprotective and most of the time they don't know their place.

Kontrra confirmed for tea party mole

ZeroNowhere wrote:They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

- Philip Larkin.

In any case, the relationship detailed in the OP did seem as if it had been derailed quite quickly by occasional streaks of lust, and it may well be worth considering why that is. I mean, yeah, that is something of a staple of teenage relationships, but so is not lasting too long, and as such it may well be worth figuring out for yourselves why exactly you are in the relationship with each other, the basic nature of the attraction in other words; why it is that you're in a relationship with her rather than others, what allows this relationship to grant a certain kind of satisfaction that others cannot, if it does. I mean, I don't know, it just seems that when you've both been willing to turn to others multiple times due to sexual attraction, there could be greater clarity about what exactly it is that you can only gain from each other, so to speak. Otherwise, you could well continue to have problems keeping things up or trusting one another when in physical isolation; when, that is, the physical aspect of the relationship is absent. You know,

From the heat that melts together oft a rarer essence slips,
And our hearts may still be parted in the meeting of the lips.

What a darkness would I gaze on when the day had passed the west,
If my eyes were dazed and blinded by the whiteness of a breast?
Never through the diamond darkness could I hope to see afar
Where beyond the pearly rampart burned the purer evening star.

(A.E.)

That said, though, the behaviour of your parents does seem to be a bit bizarre, although perhaps in the most recent case, what with the offer to smoke weed together, it isn't necessarily that surprising that parents would wish to cut you off. Before that, though, it doesn't seem to make much sense. Nonetheless, the thing that authority-figures tend to like least is having their authority brought into question rather than respected, which you seemingly have done (not that there's anything really blameworthy about that), and it's going to be pretty hard to overcome that or persuade them to do other than they are, especially given that there are two sets of parents involved, who are friends and hence can find self-confirmation within their little parental community. At the same time, though, it's probably worth keeping in mind that this forcible separation could well be made into a strength, in that it gives you both something common to react against, a sort of common struggle or conspiracy, which could just as well bunch you together as push you apart.At the least, it could give your current communication a sense of purpose as a means of subverting the restriction, as well as giving your potential unity a sort of 'forbidden fruit' aura which could well make it seem more pleasant when it arrives, creating a fairly productive sense of expectation. This is, of course, quite apart from it opening up several avenues of amusing jokes involving a certain Shakespeare play which could allow you to look cultured.

In any case, though, while it could be productive to occasionally try and subvert the order of separation, insofar as it could bring you closer in more ways than one, you should probably not be too desperate to do so, or do things with too much risk of backfiring. As it is, it doesn't seem like this should be too harsh a blow, given that you can still communicate, and that it shouldn't last for too much time, ultimately. It could even be useful to see if you can keep things going despite the lack of physical contact. That's not to say that you should simply reconcile yourself with the order to remain separate, indeed that kind of reconciliation is generally an unhealthy attitude to take in life, (it's one thing not to do anything too foolish, but nonetheless you don't want to end up falling into Sidney's trap and ending up lamenting:

oh, punished eyes,
That I had been more foolish--or more wise!)

but nonetheless it does seem that in this case you can only get around the letter of the law to a highly limited degree, and if you can't defy the law in its letter will have to do so in its spirit. That is to say, to not allow it to separate you, knowing that it can't and won't last forever. There's still plenty of things which you can do when these lines are all drawn.

Nonetheless, it's worth remembering that there are other things in life (I won't say 'there are other fish in the sea,' because it's offensive and disgusting and implies a perspective which is entirely repugnant), and that love is ultimately a completely unimportant part of life. The only important thing in life is, after all, the Revolution. As Marx once said:

Karl Marx to his wife in 1856 wrote: [What makes me a complete human being is not] Feuerbach's idea of man, or the metabolism of Moleschott, or the proletariat, but love. [...] You will smile, dear heart, and ask how I come by such rhetoric all of a sudden. If I could press your sweet white heart against mine I would be silent [...] But since I cannot kiss with my lips I must kiss with my tongue, with words. I could even compose verses and imitate Ovid's books of lamentation, libri tristium. He was only exiled from the Emperor Augustus - but I am exiled from you, and that is something Ovid would not understand.

Um, sorry, that wasn't the right quote. Um. But anyway, yes, love and that kind of thing isn't that important. As Karl Marx taught us:

Karl Marx to his wife in 1856 wrote: I see you bodily before me, I take you in my arms, I kiss you from head to foot, and I fall on my knees before you, groaning, 'Madame, I love you.' And I do love you, more than the Moor of Venice ever loved [...] Who among my many detractors and serpent-tongued enemies has ever reproached me with being called on to play the part of first lover in a second-rate theatre? And yet it is true. If the rascals had any wit, they would have painted on one side 'the conditions of production and commerce,' and on the other side me, lying at your feet. 'Look to this picture and to that!' - that's what they should have written underneath. But they are stupid rascals, and they will remain stupid in seculum seculorum.

So, yes. Well. Anyway, don't get too stressed out by the current situation, and remember that things will probably work out for the best, and, even if they don't, they still can't do you too much harm.

In the blindfold hours

In the blindfold hours,
in the memory wars,
don't fool yourself it never happened,
that you never loved her.
Don't degrade yourself with empty hopes like these.

Go to the window. Listen to the trees.
It is the only air we live in.
There is nothing to be frightened of.

- Hugo Williams.

God Zero...You are an utter inspiration <3 I should've known the single most analytical and helpful post would come from you. The streaks of lust of which you speak I have simply put off as hormone levels skyrocketing inside our bodies, causing us to do things we wouldn't otherwise normally do. But that doesn't mean they aren't controllable. Yes we are separate but I think you are right, We have been separate before and yet we still prevailed. May I say, the amount of time you take into every post, and specifically mine, gives me a great deal of gratitude. The fact that a very smart and very capable fellow such as yourself would even write as much as you did gives me hope and clarity that there are people in this world I can look to in times of strife. So thank you for that

Our parents behavior is completely odd. I have always thought so and even when at one point i thought I could see the sense in it, i just could not. But as you said, we have used their partisanship against us to our favor, as its only drove us closer and closer together. I've never been one for any of the human nature arguments as that is suspect to circumstances, but there are two things that I do think is in every human being save for the psychopaths: 1.) telling someone that they can't have something they want, will only make them want it all the more intensely, and 2.) We all want to be loved and to love in a respect, even you zero

I completely agree with Marx here. We can be as free as we want but if there is no love, then there is no humanity. It, along with maybe empathy (although the correlation between the two is almost inseparable here), is the single most powerful factor in life, both individually and as a species. You can quote all the political economic theories and dogmas all you want but without love, all 4 types eros, philia, storge, and most importantly, agape. Without any of these things I don't think we'd be human at all. Also I assume that you were being sarcastic in your remarks about love being non-important then going on to quote marx on it lol.

But I do agree with you as well that there are other things in this life, and I will ever strive to balance the other factors with love. It simply is the leading factor in my life at the moment. Being a young, politically minded teen nearing the end of his highschool career already having experienced love to almost its fullest extent has impacted me tremendously to say the least. Its made me much more empathetic to people with similar problems and has actually probably made me a better person overall(what this means I can't really say). She's done that for me. The reason, Zero, I have stayed with her and want to stay with her is because deep down in our core personalities, we are almost totally similar, and that raw connection I feel with her is stronger than any I've ever felt with any other person in my life. We are as compatible as i believe any couple on this earth to be and while sometimes we may lose sync, it is never because we change as people. Its simply because of circumstances or lust or insecurity or another outside source. And all we want in this life is to feel connected with our fellow humans, and if possible to be connected even more intensely to just one. I have found that connection and its been one of the most liberating feelings I've ever come across. I can say stuff on here without recourse because I don't really care if any of you scrutinize me but with her I just know she won't. Sure she'll do what any person does and base your character on your actions to an extent, but she unlike so many others, has never based it solely on that. That whole thing about personality being the keeping factor in a relationship could never have been truer than in our situation. I was and am still attracted to her physically but thats not why i stay. She makes me stay, the girl underneath the skin.

God Zero...You are an utter inspiration <3 I should've known the single most analytical and helpful post would come from you. The streaks of lust of which you speak I have simply put off as hormone levels skyrocketing inside our bodies, causing us to do things we wouldn't otherwise normally do. But that doesn't mean they aren't controllable. Yes we are separate but I think you are right, We have been separate before and yet we still prevailed. May I say, the amount of time you take into every post, and specifically mine, gives me a great deal of gratitude. The fact that a very smart and very capable fellow such as yourself would even write as much as you did gives me hope and clarity that there are people in this world I can look to in times of strife. So thank you for that

Our parents behavior is completely odd. I have always thought so and even when at one point i thought I could see the sense in it, i just could not. But as you said, we have used their partisanship against us to our favor, as its only drove us closer and closer together. I've never been one for any of the human nature arguments as that is suspect to circumstances, but there are two things that I do think is in every human being save for the psychopaths: 1.) telling someone that they can't have something they want, will only make them want it all the more intensely, and 2.) We all want to be loved and to love in a respect, even you zero

Regarding your quotes, I completely agree with Marx here. We can be as free as we want but if there is no love, then there is no humanity. It, along with maybe empathy (although the correlation between the two is almost inseparable here), is the single most powerful factor in life, both individually and as a species. You can quote all the political economic theories and dogmas all you want but without love, all 4 types eros, philia, storge, and most importantly, agape, I don't think we'd be human at all. Also I assume that you were being sarcastic in your remarks about love being non-important then going on to quote marx on it lol.

But I do agree with you as well that there are other things in this life, and I will ever strive to balance the other factors with love. It simply is the leading factor in my life at the moment. Being a young, politically minded teen nearing the end of his highschool career already having experienced love to almost its fullest extent has impacted me tremendously to say the least. Its made me much more empathetic to people with similar problems and has actually probably made me a better person overall(what this means I can't really say). She's done that for me. The reason, Zero, I have stayed with her and want to stay with her is because deep down in our core personalities, we are almost totally similar, and that raw connection I feel with her is stronger than any I've ever felt with any other person in my life. We are as compatible as i believe any couple on this earth to be and while sometimes we may lose sync, it is never because we change as people. Its simply because of circumstances or lust or insecurity or another outside source. And all we want in this life is to feel connected with our fellow humans, and if possible to be connected even more intensely to just one. I have found that connection and its been one of the most liberating feelings I've ever come across. I can say stuff on here without recourse because I don't really care if any of you scrutinize me but with her I just know she won't. Sure she'll do what any person does and base your character on your actions to an extent, but she unlike so many others, has never based it solely on that. That whole thing about personality being the keeping factor in a relationship could never have been truer than in our situation. I was and am still attracted to her physically but that's not why i stay. She makes me stay, the girl underneath the skin.

At one point earlier in my junior year I might have looked back at what i just said and probably attributed it to exaggeration stemming from my insecurity, but my insecurity is gone. I know who I am and I know myself. I know what I said to be true because its been in my heart through good times and bad. She would never go to such lengths to describe what keeps us together like this save very rarely when she once wrote me a 6 page long text message explaining what i just wrote. The thing I am not necessarily conflicted about, but still slightly....idk...dazed i guess, is that while she is my complete match emotionally and physically, I still want to go do things with other girls and experience them, and given our physical restrictions placed on actually being together, Its put me in a bit of a...dare i say this...moral conundrum. This might be what you were talking about earlier with this being a test of our commitment given the lack of a physical relationship, and you are probably right. It feels wrong in my mind, to kiss or fool around with other girls, even when i know she has done stuff like this in the past. I want to and I have plenty of opportunities to but my feelings for her keep me from going through with it. Since we aren't technically together people will tell me i shouldn't feel bad, but we are together in our hearts and thats what stops me from doing it. It would almost feel like cheating if i did go through with it, and even if I could bring myself to do it, how would I explain it? "Oh while we were separated but still communicating and flirting over phone and text, I did stuff with the girl I told you about who wanted to see me and also with another girl. Don't worry we didn't have sex, but we did do sexual things." That just sounds wrong to me, idk. K I just got 2 pictures from her. Scratch everything about another girl completely LOL she's the one for me xD

I didn't know the Marx quotes were legit, I thought it was just some shit that Zero made up.

apoi_viitor wrote:I didn't know the Marx quotes were legit, I thought it was just some shit that Zero made up.

Most famous Marx quotes were actually written by Zero.

I knew they were legit without looking because I've read those letters before ...